Breaking the Taboo: Overcoming Libido Challenges in Perimenopause!

Sex, wanting sex, enjoying sex, missing sex, not wanting sex, not being able to orgasm, being overly orgasmic…peri menopause can bring about some surprising changes and our sexual appetite is one of them!

I’ve never been one to shy away from tough topics so here we go! Hang onto your vibrator!

This is right up there as one of the biggest issues for my peri menopausal clients. Also, the last they mention and the least spoken about. I have heard the odd woman say their libido skyrocketed and that’s awesome. But by far the majority struggle with libido. Some women aren’t bothered at all by a lack of lust but even if this is you, keep reading because a lot of what I have to say is also about vaginal and vulval health which can suffer in peri AND menopause. Even if you aren’t bothered about using it you still want to keep it comfortable and healthy right?

Here are my 6 top libido killers in peri menopause:

1.    Hormonal fluctuations in peri are wild! Progesterone makes a slow slide, but oestrogen is in a state of flux which plays havoc with our libido (and everything lol).

2.    Stress is a libido killer no matter what time of life you are at. For women it’s worse because it means there is even less progesterone available which actually helps to elevate our libido.

3.    Exhaustion is on the list, of course, as it keeps our stress levels high, meaning less progesterone, and energy levels low making even a bedtime quicky seem like mounting Everest!

4.    Dry vagina due to fluctuating hormones made no one horny ever and can even lead to damaging the skin of the vulva and the vagina making the prospect of sex even less appealing.

5.    Recurrent UTIs and thrush are another annoying symptom of peri menopausal fluctuating hormones. Our vaginal microbiome can change, and the dryness can increase the risk of UTIs. Both are definitely libido killers!

6.    Body image, self confidence issues- this is a tough one because no matter how many people tell you how beautiful you are, how incredible, how sexy…. unless you feel it, you won’t believe it.

Don’t lose heart! These libido ‘killers’ can be overcome. Your diminished sex drive is not a done deal!

Here’s 9 simple ways to boost your libido even in peri menopause:

1.    Sleeping well is a no brainer but in peri that can seem like an impossibility. Take a look at my previous blog to get some ideas https://www.simplyhealing.net.au/blog/5-surprising-benefits-of-sleep-for-peri-menopausal-women.

2.    Eating a balanced diet full of protein and good fats can help with natural lubrication and libido. These will also help balance blood glucose levels. Fluctuating blood glucose levels can seriously mess with desire.

3.    Have sex in the morning when many of our sex hormones are meant to be highest. Not only do our hormones fluctuate through the month but also through the day to a lesser degree. In theory you should be feeling rested and more inclined to ‘you know what’ in the morning!

4.    Use it or you lose it has some relevance here. By orgasming regularly, you increase blood flow to the vaginal walls that increases nerve sensitivity. And it can help reduce vaginal atrophy later on when oestrogen takes a proper nosedive. If you don’t have a partner, then help yourself. Use toys if you like…the market is buzzing with them these days!

5.    Check out natural creams like wild yam and those with fennel oil in them as they not only lubricate but help keep your vagina in tip top shape.

6.    Use lubricants when you do have sex. There is no shame in finding it more difficult to ‘get wet’ or even taking longer to orgasm. Find a lubricant that works for you but if you have coconut oil in the cupboard get started with that. You can thank me later.

7.    Don’t shy away from toys if they help or you don’t have a partner to help you. There are so many available these days. No longer hidden in seedy sex shops down darkened alley ways with neon lighting. You can take your pick online and have them discretely delivered to your home. Or even pop into one of the more exciting lingerie shops in the major shopping centres…even they have toys.

8.    Don’t use douches as they destroy your vaginal microbiome. Support the microbiome by looking after yourself. Vaginas are self-cleaning pieces of equipment. You don’t smell or at least no one else can smell you. If there is a funky smell it may indicate thrush or a vaginal infection that needs to be checked out by a medical professional. There are lots of natural ways to treat thrush and other vaginal issues as well.  Avoid soaps on your vulva as well as they dry it out making the skin more fragile. Moisturise your vulva with some wild yam or fennel cream.

9.    Work on your self-esteem around your changing body because you are amazing and deserve to feel like a goddess! I know this is easier said than done but make a very simple start with daily affirmations. Stand in front of the mirror every day and say to yourself, out loud, ‘I am deserving of love and admiration, both from myself and from others, based on my inner and outer beauty.’ Or this one ‘I am beautiful just the way I am, and I embrace and love my unique features.’ Affirmations change the way we think and perceive ourselves and the world around us. Super simple but super powerful.

You’ve probably noticed by now that your libido is largely reliant on the way you look after the rest of your body. It doesn’t operate on its own. If we are healthy, hormones are balanced (even when they are changing, we can ensure it’s a steady transition), we are rested and nourished physically and emotionally we are far more likely to have some inclination to have sex.

What’s stopping you from looking after you? I run an entire program dedicated to the peri menopausal woman with a focus on individualised nutrition using the world-renowned Metabolic Balance program, creating stress resilience, hormonal education, mindset and long-term results to keep your hormones balanced and your weight in check.

If you want long term results to keep your hormones balanced and maybe even drop a few pesky kilos, then book a Hormonal freedom call right now to find out about the Sparkle Method and how it can help you. You are worth it!

References

Al-DujailI, E. A. S., & Sharp, M. A. (2012). Female salivary testosterone: Measurement, challenges and applications. Steroids - From Physiology to Clinical Medicine. https://doi.org/10.5772/53648

Edwards, D., & Panay, N. (2015). Treating Vulvovaginal Atrophy/genitourinary syndrome of menopause: How important is vaginal lubricant and moisturizer composition? Climacteric, 19(2), 151–161. https://doi.org/10.3109/13697137.2015.1124259

Sartori, D. V., Kawano, P. R., Yamamoto, H. A., Guerra, R., Pajolli, P. R., & Amaro, J. L. (2021). Pelvic floor muscle strength is correlated with sexual function. Investigative and Clinical Urology, 62(1), 79. https://doi.org/10.4111/icu.20190248

Yaralizadeh, M., Abedi, P., Najar, S., Namjoyan, F., & Saki, A. (2016). Effect of foeniculum vulgare (fennel) vaginal cream on vaginal atrophy in postmenopausal women: A double-blind randomized placebo-controlled trial. Maturitas, 84, 75–80. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.maturitas.2015.11.005