5 Reasons to have sex in perimenopause
Why don’t we talk about this more? Why are we so secretive about it? It’s such an unspoken about topic that myths and misinformation are rife. For instance, did you know that some women experience an increase in libido at this time? Or that a dry vagina doesn’t mean no sex? Or that sex can actually improve your mood? And that you don’t need a partner to get the benefits?
Here’s 5 really good reasons to be having sex in perimenopause and menopause!
1. It raises dopamine. What a great way to fire up those dopamine receptors! Dopamine is the neurotransmitter that is all about pleasure and reward meaning it keeps us coming back for more. Other things raise dopamine too like foods (not always, or usually the ones that are good for us), laughing, sunshine, exercise and sleep. Identify what gives you that dopamine rush by seeing what has you coming back for more. If it’s not something that is going to support you feeling great long term then skip it and replace it with SEX….or exercise lol!
2. It improves mood. Of course, that dopamine rush wants you ‘coming’ back for more! But more than that! During sex your body releases endorphins and oxytocin, and these feel-good hormones create feelings of relaxation, as well as helping to stave off anxiety and depression. And apparently it only takes a once a week shag to maintain it! Go make it count! Make it a good one!
3. It improves hormonal balance. There is also evidence to show that sexual active women have a higher level of progesterone in the luteal phase (the time between ovulation and bleeding) when we are typically grumpier and less tolerant. For those not following along progesterone balances out the emotional rollercoaster of oestrogen and creates a calmer, less anxious mood. Given that progesterone starts it’s decline first in perimenopause it can only be a good thing to raise it premenstrually.
4. If you don’t use it, you lose it! Sexual stimulation and orgasms increase blood flow to the vagina and vulva. It’s fabulous for keeping it plump and juicy so you are ready and willing the next time and the next! It also keeps it well toned as once our oestrogen starts to drop later in perimenopause and into menopause we can lose tone in our nether regions.
5. It may delay menopause. Fascinating stuff! One study I came across that followed women over a 10 year period showed that regular, weekly sex substantially increased the age that a woman went through menopause. This was not dependent on cohabitation ie you didn’t need a live in lover.
Hilariously, while I was researching this I found the term ‘sexual dysfunction during perimenopause’. Sure. Yeah. It’s our dysfunction. Not because we’re over worked and exhausted, or we sometimes feel more like our partner is another child to look after rather than a lover, or that the world values certain physical attributes over experience, wisdom, intelligence and sheer amazingness making us feel less than ‘sexy’ on every physical front. Yeah, nah….it’s sexual dysfunction not societal dysfunction hahahahaha…
NB While I advocate sex for women in perimenopause and menopause, with or without a partner, if you aren’t interested then you are still absolutely perfect. There is nothing wrong with. Nothing you need to change.
References
Arnot, M., & Mace, R. (2020). Sexual frequency is associated with age of natural menopause: results from the Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation. Royal Society Open Science, 7(1), 191020. doi:10.1098/rsos.191020
Prasad, A., Mumford, S. L., Buck Louis, G. M., Ahrens, K. A., Sjaarda, L. A., Schliep, K. C., … Schisterman, E. F. (2014). Sexual activity, endogenous reproductive hormones and ovulation in premenopausal women. Hormones and Behavior, 66(2), 330–338. doi:10.1016/j.yhbeh.2014.06.012